Oh, El Cajon Mountain—aka “El Cap” to those who’ve survived its wrath. You didn’t just challenge me; you broke me down, built me back up, and then laughed as you did it again.

It’s not just one brutal uphill climb—oh no. It’s four monster ascents on the way there that make you wonder if you missed a turn to Mount Doom. And just when you think you’re almost there, the last half-mile hits like a final boss battle. Your legs? Gone. Your will to live? Questionable.

And the way back? You’d think it’s all downhill—but surprise! It’s three more big climbs and two smaller ones just to make sure you suffer equally in both directions. It’s basically a stairway to heaven, except you never actually get there.

But here’s the thing: the views are insane. Rolling hills, epic rock formations, and an occasional hawk soaring overhead like it’s judging your fitness level. You kicked my ass, El Cajon, but you were so ridiculously beautiful that I would do it again.

Pro Tips:

Start EARLY. Like before the sun has even thought about rising early.

Bring a gallon of water (minimum). Your sweat will have sweat.

Poles are your best friends—unless you enjoy suffering.

Expect no mercy but all the scenery.

Would I recommend it? Absolutely. But only if you’re mentally prepared for a hike that feels uphill both ways.